I realize I have a problem with keeping this blog up to date. I say it is because I don't like to talk about myself, or I don't have anything important to say, but the latter statement is simply NOT the truth. For example,
We're PREGNANT!
We're PREGNANT!
Our little bean is 11 weeks old this Wednesday. Did we plan this? We planned on having a little brother or sister for our little Levite by the time he turned 2, so maybe we did. God is good.
He has no idea what he's in for! On that note, neither does Dave or I!
P.S. that shirt was a cinch to make. I looked online for some cute "big brother" tees and found that they were all crazy expensive (meaning over $15 of course). So I bought a t-shirt and an iron on decal from the ever famous and dependable Hobby Lobby ($5, no joke). Voila! Homemade cuteness (the shirt AND the baby).
Levi has been growing up a LOT since my last post. The poor little guy has been sick twice since his first birthday with an ear infection and then a virus. Let's just say, 3 days of fever is no bueno. February was filled with a couple visits to the doctor and a double dose of amoxicillin. Boo. But he's all better now. Thank God!
He has something he wants to show you!
Hooray, Levi! I am proud momma of a toddling toddler!
Another fun development that's brewing is that we are completing our attic upstairs to be a loft area for Dave and I. We're awaiting the carpet to be installed...so pictures will be coming soon! We have a small 3 bedroom house, so the loft will be a nice little getaway for us grownups:) Of course, when the babies are sleeping.
Of course with good things, some bad and uglies happen. Nothing awful. I've just been feeling down a TON lately. Many wise people have informed me that it's because I'm preggo and hormonal. Honestly, I can do without that statement. I feel as if it disregards my feelings as a human. Anyway, this pregnancy has been much more difficult than my first. Anyone else out there experience the same? Nausea, tiredness, feeling unimportant.
While the first two nasty feelings are fading as the first trimester is wrapping up, I am struggling with finding my place. My "calling". While many say that being a mother is the most important calling/job EVER, I do not feel that way very often. Actually, that feeling that I am doing something important rarely rears its pretty head. I know that the precious life (lives) that the Lord has entrusted me to protect, mold, and care for is an honor. And I do feel honored to be a mom, and a wife. I just want to feel "important". To be noticed for what I do. I used to be a registered nurse. I was skilled at what I did, and, not to brag, I was really good at what it. I'm a stay at home mom right now by choice. Tough choice. But it is what I know I am meant to do in this season of my life.
Now, I feel that I am constantly surrounded by "important"people. Musicians, people of important careers, teachers, artists, all people I feel are doing something noticeable and really great. Their gifts are in the spotlight. Personally, I would love to be gifted in a musical way, but unfortunately the Lord has not blessed me with anything in that department. Now, I know some people may think what I deem as "important" is not to them, and that's ok. Most of my adult life I have been friends with those who are gifted in ways I've only dreamt to be.
I feel that it's easy for the "important/talented/cool ones" to say, "It'll get better. Those things aren't important." But let's be superficial for a minute...it makes you feel important doesn't it? It feels great to be good at something and to have someone (or many someones) notice you for it, doesn't it? I'm not mad at you important/talented/cool friends. I just feel the opposite of what you are.
The truth is, things like "feeling important" is fleeting, and not important. Living for Christ is eternal, and loving and serving His kingdom is what lasts.
Yet, I just want some feeling that I'm doing something "important".
That's the ugly end.
Psalm 143:7-8 NIV
"Answer me quickly, O Lord: my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul."
Oh sweet Erica, I love your raw thoughts and honesty. IN MOTHERHOOD THE PRIMARY PRINCIPLE AND PURPOSE OF LIFE is - SERVING GOD BY SERVING OTHERS. In a sense true motherhood personifies the essence of the Gods law of love. Jesus gave the ultimate example of selfless service. "For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many." (Mark 10:45). The ordinary man is only half his potential without the help of God's appointed companion on life's journey. One of the great tragedies of our time has been the propagation of the concept that somehow the role of motherhood is secondary in the greater scheme of things. This philosophy that permeates so much of the popular culture of our time, suggests that the mundane ministry of motherhood is demeaning and slavish. It is accepted wisdom that success and fulfillment lie in a professional career outside the home. Those mothers who dare to defy the dictates of those dominating the devilish feminist movement, by opting to stay home and be real Christian homemakers, are made to feel inadequate and insignificant.
ReplyDeleteBut nothing could be farther from the truth. The importance of the mother's personal role in early childhood training cannot be over-emphasized. Stories of the mothers of many great men of history such as Jesus, Moses, Samuel, Timothy, Lincoln and Wesley, confirm this. The examples of these mothers tell us that they first gave themselves to God and then to their families. One such mother who placed this into practice wrote the following testimony: "When my children were young I thought the very best thing I could do for them was to give them myself. So I spared no pains to talk to them, read to them, teach them and to pray with them, and in this way to be a loving companion and friend to my children. Erica I believe motherhood is much more challenging than any career or talent. Your daily sacrifices for you children are seen by the one who truly matters and hold an eternal reward. I love you sweet friend.
First, you ARE important/talented/cool. Seriously. Being a musician or whatever is overrated when you consider what really counts. YOU bring happiness, joy and inspiration to the lives of those around you. You are a great friend and, though this sounds really corny, friends are the best thing a person can have. Let me clarify: People won't remember my music on their deathbed, but they'll remember what your friendship meant to them.
ReplyDeleteAnd on being a mother... I'm not a parent, but I do think its one of the most important things a person can do in life. Those "people of important careers" you talked about had moms. Your children will become the life partner of one person, parent to a few people, close friends with dozens, acquaintances with hundreds, introduced to thousands, and perhaps have some influence on millions through a lifetime of work. That person needs you to help them figure out how to be a responsible adult who knows how to love and lead. That's a big, important job.
Just looked at your About Me... "Hi, I'm Erica. A new mom, a wife, a nurse, a friend, a daughter, a sister, and a Christ follower." I respect a person who can pull those things off way more than I do a person who can write a great song or paint a beautiful scene.
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